When Shooting Stars Fall: Chapter 6
06 | Stardust Trail
The sickness really
Ever since seeing the meteor shower, my condition deteriorated day by day, and my visits to the hospital became more and more frequent. Finally, I simply couldn’t even leave the hospital any more. It’s no big deal, it’s something I could have predicted way earlier on. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
The only thing that surprised me was that ever since the day after the meteor shower, I never once saw Xavier again. He just disappeared into thin air, with no one knowing where he went.
I tried to contact him, of course, but there was still no news of him whatsoever. One, two, three days pass, and I start to get increasingly anxious. Just as I sneak out of my room in an attempt to go look for him, despite being too weak to even leave the hospital doors, I suddenly recall that line he said to me—pursuing freedom would also be giving up freedom.
Was it because he went to watch the meteor shower with me, because he did something he wasn’t allowed to, that he ended up losing all his freedom?
I lie on the hospital bed every day, tossing and turning, continuously thinking, just like the night before we went to see the meteor shower. But the sky will not light up any quicker because of my , just like how Xavier never reappeared since.
No matter how slow-witted I may be, I can still tell, from the nurse’s expression whenever she comes into my room, the fact that I don’t have many days left. And besides, that dying heart is within my own body.
Hence, exactly one month after the meteor shower, I push myself to sneak out of the hospital, returning to that salt flat, even if it’s for that promise we made.
Besides, I have a premonition that he’ll come.
It feels so fascinating, listening to the crunching of the salt under my footsteps. The last time I came, I was clearly still able to run and jump, even though it clearly wasn’t that long ago.
I sit on the pier for a long time, even longer than that night when I watched the meteor shower with Xavier. After all, there won’t be any more chances in the future.
Just as I prepare to leave, I suddenly see a unique star reflected in the vast and empty expanse between Heaven and Earth—that star hangs on a wooden sword, swaying left and right, coming closer to me from afar.
It’s Xavier. That figure of his is running towards me.
It is only when he stops in front of me that I suddenly realize that his face and hands are covered in deep wounds. He crouches down and opens his palm. Inside lies a small Protocore that refracts brilliant radiance.
In my memories, this is the first time he’s looked at me with a gaze like this, a hint of pleading in his eyes. And it’s only when he comes closer, that I notice a ring of light clasped around his neck, blinking intermittently with a glaring, suffocating red light.
“...Was this what you got in exchange for your freedom?”
He doesn’t answer me. He just tells me that this is the Protocore that can save me, that he’s found it.
But that withering heart is still in my body. Right now, it’s like a dying candle flame, only shining for a little longer by sheer will, relying on my thoughts of Xavier.
I reach out and touch the wounds on his face, some of them having already dried up into scabs. I don’t understand. How would someone as calm and intelligent as Xavier fail to weigh the risks and benefits of such a thing, and for what reason did he dive like a moth into fire for this heart inside me that can barely hold on any longer.
“It’s already too late.” I want to touch Xavier’s neck, but my outstretched hand only manages to grab air. “Return the Protocore, then get this collar removed, alright?”
Xavier doesn’t speak, clutching that Protocore until his knuckles turn white. “You promised, we would watch the meteor shower together again.”
“We each have our own destinies, you know… Some things can’t be forced…” I reach my finger out, poking the corner of his mouth. “Cheer up, I’ll have you know that I was really happy the past month or so, okay?”
I don’t know why, but tears begin to fall the moment I finish speaking, even though I didn’t originally plan on crying.
Xavier wipes my tears away for me. The mirror-like salt lake reflects the night sky onto the ground, making , and at the same time, makes us seem so much smaller in comparison.
“...Come and chat with me.” I point at the space beside me, asking him to sit a little closer.
The light in his eyes turn a few shades darker. It is only after quite a while, that he finally loosens his tightly gripped hand, and sits beside me.
“Hey, if I didn’t have this disease….. Would you accompany me to watch the meteor showers many more times in the future?”
“Mhm.” Xavier holds me in one arm, letting me lean on his shoulder. “Not just the meteor shower, there’s also the the sun, the moon, and We’d go see them all together.”
“The rest are fine, but climbing mountains is so tiring, I don’t want to…”
“If you’re tired, you can walk slowly. If you’re tired of walking… I’ll carry you.”
Missing Content: The line above is entirely missing from the original English translation
“No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side. Even if you want to rest , I’ll wait for you.”
“Alright, then I guess I’ll just have to reluctantly… Agree…” I lean on Xavier’s shoulder, imagining a future without the disease.
Gradually, I feel like the remaining strength in my body is reaching its end, so, I can only use the last bit of my strength to raise my head and take a glance at the night sky.
“What a shame, there are no stars tonight…”
“There is.”
Then, I see him open his palm in front of me, a light glowing on it. It’s just like the one I saw in the auditorium back then, only that today’s seems even brighter.
His shooting star, it’s shining for me again.
I close my eyes, making the final wish of this lifetime in a whisper.
“I wish that I can meet you in my next life too… I wonder if it can come true this time…”
“...It will.”
He holds my hand, wrapping the back of my hand with his palm. It’s very gentle, and very warm. I nod reassuringly towards him, and suddenly feel as though Heaven is summoning my life.
My eyelids feel heavy. Then, I can’t open them anymore.
In the final moments of my life, I feel like I’m being held by someone. The surroundings are quiet, and I think I hear the sounds of stars burning in the night sky, one after another, just like a brilliant, grand meteor shower.
Within the scent reminiscent of the moonlight, that warm and gentle voice lands just next to my ears like the parabola of a shooting star—
“No matter how it takes, no matter where you are… I will find you.”
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